HEY, Nice Tweets! …Conan O’BrienJuly 12, 2010
New from @mahable > Conan Takes on Rebecca Black With “Thursday” [VIDEO] – http://on.mash.to/eDBngb
- Congratulations to Spain on their World Cup victory! May the streets run red with blood-orange sangria and ham!
- A new study says that men who take drugs for ED have significantly more STDs. Also, men who take drugs for STDs have a lot of STDs.
- Another perfect day in CA, the land of jobs & money. (Gov. Schwarzenegger has me at gunpoint. We’re under the Santa Monica Pier. Send help.)
- Congrats to my staff on 4 Emmy nominations. This bodes well for the future of The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.
- The Queen recycled a dress for a ball in Toronto that she had previously worn before. Now to Google “monarch+nip slips”.
- My horoscope says I “never let a struggle stop me.” At least that’s what I think it says, I can’t get the cookie all the way open.
- This laptop is hot on my legs. I shall invent a space age Kevlar pad that protects my legs from heat. Or maybe I’ll just put on pants.
- Scholars have revealed Jefferson changed “Subjects” to “Citizens” in the Dec of Ind. Also, “Pursuit of Happiness” was “Score me some stank”.
- Today’s the 25th anniversary of “Back to the Future” – The movie that popularized DeLoreans, Flux Capacitors, & almost nailing your own mom.
- Twilight Eclipse has been smashing box office records since it opened. For the record, I was sickly pale before it was cool.
- I don’t care where LeBron James ends up… As long as it’s not at 11pm on TBS.
- Larry King’s retiring after hosting “Larry King Live” for 25 years. Personally, I think hosting anything longer than 7 months is overkill.
- I’m #51 on Forbes “Celebrity 100.” To help you fully comprehend the enormity of my achievement, consider this: Judge Judy is only #72.
- Yesterday a Marilyn Monroe chest x-ray sold for $45,000. Meanwhile, my dr’s note saying I have a mild case of shingles just sits on e-Bay.
- My writers’ stand up special airs tonight at 10 on TBS. It’s like watching my kids perform… if my kids were all neurotic men in their 30s.
- Cable’s ability to attract top-tier talk show hosts continues. Welcome aboard, disgraced New York Governor Eliot Spitzer!
- 11 years between “Toy Story’s” and 7 months between “Twilight’s.” By that measure, the “Jonah Hex” sequel should be out in 3 days.
- Don’t underestimate the influence of the World Cup. I’m already adding a vuvuzela section to our TBS band.
- “Rolling Stone” may have brought down the US military commander in Afghanistan. Worse, they only gave Miley’s new album 3 out of 5 stars.
Careful out there, ‘cuz remember, you are what you tweet!
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