7 Sins of the Twitter EliteJune 24, 2009
Ahhhh the Twitter Elite, the Twitter Famous, no not the Shaqs & Brittanys but the geeks who “got it” before everyone else. They built it, touted it, criticized it. Some even left and were tweeting again in less time than it took Brittany to shave her head and re-weave (and make a come back with a Twitter account nonetheless). So, perhaps “sins” are a little dramatic, but I’ll let @jchrst be the judge. Anyway feel free to add / debate in the comments.
If you are over 16 and you don’t live in the valley in the 80s do not use OMG. You shouldn’t say it out loud, you shouldn’t text it and you shouldn’t put a Z in front of it. ZOMG doesn’t even make sense. Step up and use WTF or OMFG like an adult.
Major offenders: L(ike)OMG, you totally know who you are.
Please STOP referring to Twitter as “great for crowd sourcing.” Yeah, you have a gazillion people just waiting to talk to you. Twitter is your personal people search. Yay for you. When I ask a question on Twitter I might get an answer, that’s 1 answer to a question so I have to send 6 DMs just to make sure someone responds!
Watch Tonight’s News…
No. It’s a waste of Twitter space to only tweet product teases (same for FB). I don’t care what’s on your late news tonight, stop tweeting about it. I get my news from HULU, John Stewart & TWIT (just kidding on the last one).
Major offenders: Mass Media
Follow me / I won’t follow you or Follow everyone (known as “A Twitter Reach Around”)
Whether you follow everyone or choose to be the “Ultimate Twitter Ass” (a Twasshole) by following 14 people even though you have 45,000 followers that’s fine, but shut up about it. For the rest of us it’s lose / lose… follow everyone & get a thousand tweets you don’t want or don’t follow anyone and your follower count hovers at 14 forever.
Major offenders: Leo Laporte @leolaporte
Too cool to DM
I get it, I won’t DM you. You don’t check your DMs. Twitter won’t let you clear them 2k at a time. Boo hoo. Excuse me while I go clear my 15 DMs. All all auto responses from tweeps not expecting a reply.
Major offender: Brogan @chrisbrogan
Give hashtags a break already! Wayne – because you use so many, half you’re tweets are only 4 words long and it’s impossible to retweet you! There’s no room for R & T! You are a Hashtag Junkie!
Seriously, you have a problem. Please get help #intervention.
Major offender: #WayneSutton @waynesutton
I am not stalking you stop with the stupid tweets: “Long day, late night… off to bed.” OR “Eating eggs with toast.” Occasionally it’s not a problem, but some of you are WAY over your quota!
Major offender: Alex Albrecht (Wonder why Kevin is kicking your ass on Twitter? Well there you go.)
A final note, if you’re new to Twitter these are the folks you really need to follow! Unless, of course, you’re afraid to learn something. Oh, and if you want to become “Twitter Famous” click here for ideas that are gauranteed get you thousands and thousands of followers fast!
“Twitter Famous” or Tweeple Poor, just remember: U R what U tweet!
CHECK THIS POST> The Ten Commandments of Twitter
CHECK THIS POST> Twitter Attack Ashton Kutcher vs CNN
Posted in Twitter Tips, Uncategorized | Tagged @alexalbrecht, @chrisbrogan, @leolaporte, @therealdvorak, Albrecht, Alex, Alex Albrecht, brogan, chris, chris brogan, comedic tweets, comedy on twitter, comedy tweeting, comical tweets, comics tweeting, don't be a twasshole, dvorak, funny from twitter, funny twitter, geek humor, hashtag, hashtags, humor, humorous tweets, john dvorak, joke tweets, jokes, jokes on twitter, Laporte, Leo, leo laporte, local news on twitter, mass media on twitter, news faux paus twitter, news tweets, OMFG, omg, stop stupid tweets, stupid tweets, thereal dvorak, tweet, tweets, twitter, twitter comedy, twitter elite, twitter famous, twitter faux paus, twitter humor, twitter jokes, twitter poor, twitter sins, twitter trends, twitter.com, twitterfunny, twittertrends, WTF, ZOMG |