Bronxzooscobra FUNNIEST TWITTER TRENDS! BronxZooCobra TWEETS

A deadly snake on the loose in NY! Hilarity Ensues… on Twitter.

 

 

Oh sssssssssnap!

BronxZoosCobra: @peternbcnews Don’t turn around. I’m right behind you. Just kidding! lol!

about 4 hours ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

BronxZoosCobra: Holding very still in the snake exhibit at the Museum of Natural History. This is gonna be hilarious!

about 23 hours ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

BronxZoosCobra: Anyone know if Rebecca Black lives in NYC? No reason.

1 day ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

BronxZoosCobra: Dear NYC, Apples and snakes have gone together since the beginning.

1 day ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

BronxZoosCobra: I want to thank those animals from the movie “Madagascar.” They were a real inspiration.

1 day ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

For the funny scroll down, if you’ve missed the full story check this >

TimeNewsfeed: Cobra escapes from Bronx Zoo, promptly gets a Twitter account (@BronxZooCobra) | http://ti.me/fkaDUh

about 2 hours ago via HootSuite · Reply · View Tweet

whiterabbit8563: RT @pritesh23: Looking for the #bronxzoocobra? It’s actually@bronxzooscobra

33 minutes ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

alt161: How hard can it be to find a cobra with a smart phone?@BronxZoosCobra

15 minutes ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

bridgemama: RT @FernandaAdames: RT @BronxZoosCobra: Donald Trump is thinking about running for president?! Don’t worry, I’ll handle this. Where is Trump Tower exactly?

9 minutes ago via ÜberSocial · Reply · View Tweet

BronxZoosCobra: According to the rules of Twitter, I think I’m supposed to announce a multi-city comedy tour now. Right @ConanOBrien & @CharlieSheen?

6 minutes ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

dgcarolina: @bronxzoocobra has over 66K followers on twitter already – this snake knows how to do NYC up right!

3 minutes ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

BronxZoosCobra: Not a fan of G.I. Joe.

about 4 hours ago via web · Reply · View Tweet

pareemichele: RT @BronxZoosCobra: Dear @CharlieSheen, know what’s better than tiger’s blood? Cobra venom. #winning … http://tmi.me/8fuL6

15 minutes ago via ÜberSocial · Reply · View Tweet

FYI: @Bronxzoocobra is the wrong account

jenniferfalls: Did they ban the #BronxZooCobra?

2 minutes ago via Twitter for iPhone · Reply · View Tweet

garnetstorm: Big hiss to Twitter for suspending @bronxzoocobra account.

1 minute ago via Echofon · Reply · View Tweet

kst8er76: RT @jaywalker20: What the heck! The @Bronxzoocobra has been suspended? If a snake can’t speak his mind freely, then who can?

25 minutes ago via TweetDeck · Reply · View Tweet

Careful out there, ‘cuz remember, you are what you tweet!

@richandDaveshow

GENIUS in theory men or wmn black tee by twitterfunny

GENIUS (beta) men or wmn black tee by twitterfunny

Totally hooked on Facebook women’s tee by twitterfunny

Friend Unfriend TEE men or women in white by twitterfunny

WTF is Facebook? Royal Fitted cap by twitterfunny

 

TimeNewsfeed: Cobra escapes from Bronx Zoo, promptly gets a Twitter account (@BronxZooCobra) | http://ti.me/fkaDUh

about 2 hours ago via HootSuite · Reply · View Tweet

 

Hey Baby Nice Tweets! WOW 36? 02/09

Some great new Tweeps have joined our Twitter feed!

jonathancoulton ijustine

darthvader GaryColeman

So, here are 36 of the funniest twucking tweets in our twucking Twitter tweed! We recommend you follow our tweeps and us too @RichandDaveShow. Be a part of the show!

Brought to you by www.TwitterFunny.com, for twitter inspired designs follow @tfunny

darthvader Went by the Delicious Monster booth today and felt a disturbance in the Force. And by Force, I mean my pants. 10:52 PM Jan 6th from twitterrific

chasrmartin OKay, someone was asking for article titles that would get my attention. here’s one: “On Moral Pornography” 4:18 PM Jan 4th from TweetDeck

darthvader I love New Years. Gonna pick a planet, get drunk and count down to “dropping the ball” if you know what I mean. 6:32 PM Dec 31st, 2008 from twitterrific

kevinmarks tweeting at a stoplight while its still legal 5:43 PM Dec 31st, 2008 from mobile web

RichandDaveShow You follow us… we follow you! it’s like a great big Twitter reach-around!

GaryColeman To all my readers, have a happy new year! Don’t run over any rednecks tonight! Unless of course, I’m invited. about 1 month ago from web

1. TheBloggess My Canadian friend told me they ice fish to celebrate New Years Eve. I was all “Weird. In the US we stay up late to watch balls drop on TV”. 9:18 AM Dec 31st, 2008 from web
2. TheBloggess And he was all “Yeah, we have gay porn in Canada too”. He’s kind of an asshole. 9:19 AM Dec 31st, 2008 from web

TheBloggess Global warming is killing polar bears and also kind of sexy : http://tinyurl.com/5zq4ft 6:55 AM Dec 31st, 2008 from web

ijustine iCarly doesn’t now it yet, but I’m going to fight her next year: http://bit.ly/icarly 1:51 AM Dec 31st, 2008 from web

Mia Dueling Banjos just popped up on my itunes. brb looking for backwoods assraping hicks. 6:11 AM Dec 20th, 2008 from TweetDeck

ElizMcQuern http://tinyurl.com/3wnc9g Blagojevich: ‘I have done nothing wrong’ – a ha aha ha ha hah what a comedian, that guy. 4:37 PM Dec 19th, 2008 from web

Lons I’m not Christian, but also don’t care if people wish me a “Merry Christmas.” It’s just a holiday/tradition. No offense is implied. 3:51 PM Dec 19th, 2008 from twhirl

GET A CUSTOM TWITTER BACKGROUND THAT ROCKS! CLICK HERE! FAST TURNAROUND USING YOUR IMAGES & INSPIRATION!

annielovesyou A little chinese boy ran up to me and grabbed my leg. That means i can keep him, right? 2:42 PM Dec 19th, 2008 from txt

GoNowGo History repeats itself. Barkeep: Did you want it on draft or a can? @rinker22: I’ll take it in the can. 10:35 PM Dec 18th, 2008 from txt

darthvader I don’t care if there *is* mistletoe, if I catch my kids french kissing again, I swear I’ll disown them! 9:40 PM Dec 18th, 2008 from twitterrific

ComedyTime “Notice that frankincense and myrrh never really caught on the way that gold did?” http://tinyurl.com/4k3hjx 9:17 PM Dec 18th, 2008 from web

kmakice First rule of book writing: Books are long. 2:34 PM Dec 18th, 2008 from twitterrific

michael_bay I could have been a GREAT newsman: http://tinyurl.com/4onp8b 11:37 AM Dec 18th, 2008 from web

1. Have you ever made cake batter and found yourself taking a taste & then end up eating almost the whole bowl? I wouldn’t admit to it either. 10:45 AM Dec 18th, 2008 from web
2. RichandDaveShow @girlarsonist no but there was this time I got drunk and woke up in a bakery… didn’t get arrest for assault, just BATTER-Y! HA 11:33 AM Dec 18th, 2008 from web in reply to girlarsonist

GoNowGo No matter how ironclad the excuse, it’s still awkward to be caught exiting a bathroom with a sandwich in hand. 11:06 AM Dec 18th, 2008 from web

jonathancoulton There’s another bearded longhair at the coffee shop – I feel like high fiving him. 10:06 AM Dec 18th, 2008 from web

ElizMcQuern Tony Curtis is wearing a huge amount of eyeliner in his laser eye surgery commercial. I wonder if that’s part of the whole package. 9:21 AM Dec 18th, 2008 from TwitterBerry

TheOnion Hurriphoonado Cuts Swath Of Destruction Across Eastern, Western Hemispheres http://twurl.nl/l5qxd6 8:29 AM Dec 18th, 2008 from twitterfeed

Borat Who the hell throws a shoe?!?! 7:13 AM Dec 18th, 2008 from web

curlycomedy practicing shoe-dodging. 12:08 PM Dec 15th, 2008 from web

TheOnion Our Annual Year 2008 A.D.: Iran’s Nuclear Operation Revealed To Be Cover For Greatest Roller Coaster Ever http://bit.ly/zrGm 11:04 AM Dec 15th, 2008 from twhirl

GET A CUSTOM TWITTER BACKGROUND THAT ROCKS! CLICK HERE! FAST TURNAROUND USING YOUR IMAGES & INSPIRATION!

JohnCleese I know @StephenFry but who the hell is Mashable? http://tinyurl.com/57ynwr 11:02 AM Dec 15th, 2008 from twhirl

TheBloggess I made $150 off my blog last month so I’m looking into other options. Like prostitution. http://thebloggess.com/?p=691 10:43 AM Dec 15th, 2008 from web

GoNowGo Grabbed Christmas by the bells and am nearly done with the shopping shenanigans! 2:05 PM Dec 14th, 2008 from txt

fimoculous Last night’s math lessons from @killer_weed: 2 valium + 2 espresso = 1 adderall. Who knew? 1:20 PM Dec 13th, 2008 from web

darthvader At the mall scaring away all the little kids in line waiting to see Santa Claws. 1:12 PM Dec 13th, 2008 from twitterrific

darrylohrt Getting son’s driver’s license. Roads no longer safe. 10:11 AM Dec 13th, 2008 from twitterrific

zemote Bars with wifi are awesome, wondering why I keep going to coffee shops to work, the drinks are much stronger here :) 8:11 PM Dec 11th, 2008 from Tweetsville

zemote Wife is making pork fried rice from last nights pork tenderloin, I’m a lucky man, surprised I’m not a fat man 7:08 PM Dec 11th, 2008 from Tweetsville

darthvader If Palpatine & I hadn’t destroyed the Senate years ago, they’d probably be voting to bail out the failing speeder industry right about now. 4:30 PM Dec 11th, 2008 from twitterrific

NEW! Clever Tweet Inspired Ts www.TwitterFunny.com

1. TheBloggess Coworker just asked me if I’m high right now because I look like I “just smoked some weed”. Not kidding. Starting out to be a great day. 8:58 AM Dec 10th, 2008 from web
2. TheBloggess To clarify, I am not high right now but I am a little drunk. 9:01 AM Dec 10th, 2008 from web

ijustine Oh.. No internet until 4:30? Are you serious???? What is this… 1993???????!!! Time warner sucks. 4:08 PM Dec 9th, 2008 from txt

Don’t miss a post! Add us to your RSS : http://richanddaveshow.wordpress.com/feed/

A Holiday Twittie Show! Nice Tweets!

We went on a Holiday hunt for funny twucking tweets! Hysterical tweets & links from across the Twitter-verse!

Featuring @wbaustin

Follow @RichandDaveShow Be a part of the show!

——————————————–

wbaustin: #jokes #humor Funny Holiday Joke: Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies 1 cup of water 1 tsp baking soda .. http://tinyurl.com/9cdrle (expand)
about 4 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

wbaustin: Ahwatukee Comedy Club Last Laugh of 2008 http://tinyurl.com/7l2eyj (expand)
about 22 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

wbaustin: @ejobfairs @thesolutions here is one that is even funnier: Snowman Funeral http://tinyurl.com/8u8wwz (expand)
about 22 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet · Show Conversation

——————————————–

Hide Conversation

Hide Conversation

wbaustin: #jokes #humor Car Privileges: Car Privileges We had just given our teenage daughter family-car priv.. http://tinyurl.com/6toxx5 (expand)
about 22 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

Hide Conversation

chasrmartin: [ROFL] RT @wbaustin: I just put a sign on my lawn:UNASSEMBLED SNOWMEN FOR SALE…. CHEAP!!!! http://jokesfunny.wordpress.com/
about 22 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

Hide Conversation

letslets: “http://twit.tv/ “TWiT 174: Leo Laporte, John Hodgman, & Jonathan Coulton A special holiday episode. Funny stuff,… http://ff.im/nfnn
about 7 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

banskinator: http://tinyurl.com/5tx3wa (expand) …a lovely little holiday jingle..pretty funny
about 9 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

asterbotvideo88: Asterpix Interactive Video – Stay Home Tonight: Funny song from original holiday musical revue, “That Time.. http://tinyurl.com/9sm2s7 (expand)
about 9 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

Twitter addict? Show off your tweets with @tfunny tees click here

——————————————–

asian_angel: Funny holiday song – “Fa La Freezing” (http://kissa.be/1yH)
about 16 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

funnyordie: A holiday gift from Funny Or Die….Jessica Biel as a Bad Elf http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/7c8bbb7f5a
about 17 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

eric_guerin: Blog Post: “My Very Warmest Holiday Wishes” with a funny holiday video: http://is.gd/d0js (expand)
about 17 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

avenuez: These are hilarious! Account managers do holiday karaoke http://cli.gs/Nz8qsp Kudos @chrisuschan and the funny team at http://omnipress.com
about 20 hours ago · Reply · View Tweet

——————————————–

Don’t miss a post! Add us to your RSS : http://richanddaveshow.wordpress.com/feed/

Check out these clever Twitter inspired designs!

Blogojevich: SNL Amy Poehler & Twitter Attack! FUNNY!

Watch SNL’s Amy & Seth take on Illinois Gov. Rod Blogojevich with “Really?”

No video? CLICK HERE to see it on Hulu right now!

Exclusive Funny Twitter Attack : Blogojevich only on RichandDaveShow.com!

…and they’re REAL! Reply or view from right here (most tweets)!

curlycomedy: This just in: Supercuts denies ever having done business with Rod Blogojevich.

gypsyjr: “An unsightly pile of Blogojevich” is my new favorite phrase.

richanddaveshow: Illinois Governor Blagojevich busted after 3 year probe… if convicted could receive 5 to 7 years being probed. @ ME YOUR ONE LINER!!!

4 days ago ·
Reply
· View Tweet

arizonaBNN: Wild Chihuahuas: The view outside Chez Blogojevich!: Thanks to the very funny icanhascheezburger.comhttp://www.w.. http://tinyurl.com/6zdbp6 (expand)

alisavaldes: blogojevich = travolta’s lesbian kid sister

lauranyc: From Portfolio: Blago’s Lowball: Among the crazier things about the Rod Blogojevich scandal is th.. http://tinyurl.com/5src9u (expand)

2 days ago ·
Reply
· View Tweet

need4trth: blogojevich is an arrogant psycho. I guess because he is a lawyer he thinks he really has nothing to fear.

2 days ago ·
Reply
· View Tweet

NewYorkObserver: Fashion Roundup: The Wealthy Shop in Secret; Versace Exec Sued for Sexual Harassment; Rod Blogojevich‘s Hair Doe.. http://tinyurl.com/5djeq2 (expand)

2 days ago ·
Reply
· View Tweet

farkpolitics: Friends of (expletive) wife of Gov. Blogojevich say (expletive) transcript of her (expletive) profanity-laced co.. http://tinyurl.com/5ruuxj (expand)

2 days ago ·
Reply
· View Tweet

richanddaveshow: IL GOV. tried to sell Obama Sen. seat to highest bidder. “Udon’t give it away for nothing” Who says politicians dont know the value of a $

4 days ago ·
Reply

fark: Friends of (expletive) wife of Gov. Blogojevich say (expletive) transcript of her (expletive) profanity-laced co.. http://tinyurl.com/5ruuxj (expand)

2 days ago ·
Reply
· View Tweet

CaraCarriveau: on CNN – Chicago anchor Goudie said it was unusual for Blogojevich to go to work these last 2 days…because it was 2 days in a row for him!

2 days ago ·
Reply
· View Tweet

philliperickson: Latest on Blogojevich: Illnois Governor’s office says that he is “calling in gay” and will not be in the office for the rest of the week.

Check out our archive of “Hey Baby, Nice Tweets!”

Don’t miss a post! Add us to your RSS : http://richanddaveshow.wordpress.com/feed/

TWITTER GEAR: Twitter Inspired Designs

Hey Baby, Nice Tweets! NEW & IMPROVED!!

*Now with icons and links! A set of tweets like these gets you the best!

Here’s a look at some of the funniest twucking tweets in our twucking Twitter tweed! We recommend you follow our tweeps and us too @RichandDaveShow. Be a part of the show!

	chick_comedy “Good luck with that unicorn tattoo, because in 20 years it will look like a baby giving you the bird.” http://tinyurl.com/55jfhq 5:43 PM Dec 8th from web
	jsweet1981 Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails….ewww 4:56 PM Dec 8th from web
	GaryColeman Someone’s mistaken me for Tupac again. I’m not dead! http://tinyurl.com/5zgchj 5 days ago from web
	michael_bay @MrBabyMan I want to cast you in “Bad Boy’s III: Really Bad Boys.” How do you feel about driving a hummer through a Boy Scout Jamboree? 6:00 PM Dec 4th from web in reply to MrBabyMan
	BellaRossa In line at the pharmacy, warily eyeing the Lifestyle “vibrating ring.” I assume it’s not a symbol for the everlasting nature of marriage. 8:45 AM Dec 4th from TwitterBerry
	RichandDaveShow pls RT: Looking for gang members to follow. Any Cripps or Bloods on Twitter? 6:35 AM Dec 4th from web
	DavidParton The late George Carlin once said: “If you want to keep your dog in line, walk him past the fur shop once a week” 4:36 PM Dec 2nd from web
	nick Wit is a curse, because your peers lack it. 10:32 AM Dec 2nd from web
	TheBloggess I think the worst kind of river would be one filled with dead parrots. 10:10 AM Dec 2nd from web
	mklopez i have been just called “priest-like”. Should I feel like Ned Flanders from the Simpsons, or the child-molesting priest from South Park? 1:45 PM Dec 1st from Ping.fm
Get Your Tweet Here!	This should be you! Follow @RichandDaveShow and get in the show!
	nick Sign at church reads “Curious about Jesus?” So I guess they’ve changed their stance on gay rights. 10:32 AM Nov 30th from web
	nick Donating sperm, then adopting, so I can tell my kids, “You’d better shape up. I sent my real kids to an impotent couple in Newark.” 9:06 AM Nov 29th from web

	rjk five dollar foot loooooong 5:06 PM Nov 28th from web
	rjk five dollar 5:06 PM Nov 28th from web
	rjk five 5:06 PM Nov 28th from web
ad	Get Twitter inspired style – check out www.TwitterFunny.com or follow @tFunny
	RodBegbie Starting to suspect that some of the audience members at this screening of Milk at the Castro might be… (whispers) gay. 10:05 PM Nov 26th from Tweetie
	TheBloggess So I twittered “I” a few hours ago b/c apparently I can’t use an iphone properly and immediately 3 people responded with “J”. 7:45 PM Nov 25th from web
	kambri Christian didn’t clean the stove today because he wanted me to see a stain that he says looks exactly like a di*k and balls. 8:11 PM Nov 24th from web
	nick Going crazy over this band “TBA.” Every time I think I’m gonna see them perform, they get replaced at the last minute. 12:51 PM Nov 23rd from web
	nick You know who else spent the holidays with his family? Hitler. 12:15 PM Nov 23rd from web
	DaveJMatthews Hands up if you pee in the tub 17 days ago from twitterrific

Don’t miss a post! Add us to your RSS : http://richanddaveshow.wordpress.com/feed/

Hey Baby, Nice Tweets! They’re so BIG! 11/21

We skipped a week, so lots of tweets today! Here you go, the funniest tweets in our twucking twitter tweed!

birbigs just finished his cardio-kickboxing class, does anyone want to fight?

TheOnion New Pain-Inducing Advil Created For People Who Just Want To Feel Something, Anything http://twurl.nl/ns2pe4

nick In this crazy non-heteronormative world, how do you define sex? It’s whatever the people are doing two-thirds of the way through the porno.

girlarsonist Dear Mr. Kudlow; I really do like you, but next time you try to dress yourself, please call me before leaving the house. That is all.

RodBegbie “This corporation has a very strict ‘bros before hos’ policy.”

nick Just found out that Easter 2009 is on my birthday. Time to plan my theme party.

TheOnion Fit Of Anger Turns Dairy Farmer Into Beef Farmer http://twurl.nl/bf8jwc

SlapSticDotCom I just got a steroid shot in my butt. Hello, buns of steel.

TheOnion BREAKING: Senate Black Caucus Disappears Without Trace

kpereira I can’t watch CNN anymore. They’re trying so hard to be witty and entertaining when all I really want them to do is REPORT THE DAMN NEWS!

toiletscribble I haven’t touched my twitter in ages. Ahhhhh this feels nice.

fimoculous “You have 87 friends in common.” I really doubt that.

hodgman And you’re right: I should have had a martini with that. I will rectify that tomorrow morning.

TheOnion If Only Someone Had Written A Song Describing The Bittersweet, Cyclical Nature Of The Father-Son Relatio..http://twurl.nl/6yugiw

Chuckumentary Like any good newsman, I believe that if you’re not scared, I’m not doing my job.

bricomedy Fact: Two men are installing carpeting in my home, but one of them will only refer to the other using various girls names.

RodBegbie I prefer the taste of Rockstar or Red Bull to that of Bawls, but I *do* enjoy the opportunity to do childish innuendo about “my bawls”.

TheBloggess Message from twitter: “God is following you.” Oh, hell

bricomedy Overwhelmed and disoriented. Perfect.

StupidInstitute What’s the grace period before doing a “Where are they now?” special on Sarah Palin?

michael_bay Started a fan group. It’s called the North American Michael Bay Love Association. Or just NAMBLA.

nick Okay, you can fuck me. But seriously, the horse I rode in on? You perv.

JJLESLIE Alt Press Mag covered Fall Out Boy. Please buy the one that says Fall Out Boy SUCKS to make it A.P.’s best seller.http://www.altpress.com/

nick PR lady, you invited me to this women’s social network, so I’ll drop your name when they ask why I’m tagging everyone “ANAL MILF.”

nick Writing for the older audience at PC Mag is a blast. “Hey guys! It’s called Facebook and it’s about to ROCK YOUR WORLD.”

laughingsquid If you join The Kevin Bacon Movie Club, Kevin himself will personally visit you at home & watch his movies with youhttp://tr.im/kevin

SlapSticDotCom Quote of the day: Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. -unknown

SlapSticDotCom Funny street sign: http://tinyurl.com/b9ar9

You follow us… we follow you! it’s like a great big Twitter reach-around!

Hey Baby, Nice Tweets! 11-10

Stick your tweets in our face! Follow us on Twitter and we’ll follow you!

Some of our new favorite n funny Tweets:

BellaRossa Amusing sugarcoating of a “naughty” word: “clusterbunch.” Ha.

zemote It’s 4am in Chicago, what the hell am I doing up?

kmakice Had to restart my Internets.

Chuckumentary Why can’t you karaoke Anal Cu** songs?

fimoculous What do ya think Garth Brooks is doing right now?

pennjillette : I’m in Greenfield, birthplace of me, and Lorenzo Lorraine Langstroth, Inventor of the moveable frame beehive. I must set up an apiary.

nick select “Obama,” right-click, click “add to dictionary”

kmakice OH: “Dad, your laptop is getting in the way of me evolving.”

RichandDaveShow dropping wife off at airport… …drinking beer on way home from airport.

TheOnion God Returns From 2-Millennium-Long Vacationhttp://twurl.nl/61xwx3

nick Crafting the perfect avatar. How do I convey “I’m acknowledging you out of pity” in 150×150 pixels?

kellymarch The paint guy at Home Depot likes his job WAY too much.

chrispirillo When the Hell did I Start Growing Hair on my Earlobes?! http://bit.ly/DPxV

Admit it, you’ve been staring! Now join us on Twitter, baby!

Our Twitter feed’s funniest Election night Tweets!

This Election was Tweet Baby! Follow www.twitter.com/RichandDaveShow for funny tweets!

Got something better? Paste your favorite election night tweets below in our comment section!

RichandDaveShow Sigh of relief from white house staff finally realizing “Presidential Depends” will not be needed

RichandDaveShow So how long till we get a remix of the national anthem?

RichandDaveShow cnn… wow,George Wendt looks really old

StupidInstitute Looking at the electoral map on CNN, it looks like the American revolution all over again – South votes McCain, North votes Obama.

kellymarch Fudge.

JohnCleese Tapdancing

cnnbreaking Barak Obama winning states where smart people live, John McCain winning states where nobody lives.

kmakice John Bolton puts the ass in Ambassador.

hodgman holtz-Eakins on MSNBC does not deserve to say “in all seriousness”

hodgman Axelrod on CNN looks like a hill street blues extra

hodgman I’m sorry. I will keep drinking martinis until PA & VA are called.

laughingsquid it will all be over soon “my friends”

TheOnion #twitvote #votereport 4:13 p.m. Undecided voter Allison Blackmore has been in that damn booth since 8 a.m.

TheOnion #twitvote 4:13 p.m. Undecided voter Allison Blackmore has been in that damn booth since 8 a.m. (see www.theonion.comfor complete coverage)

nick No on 8: Because California has more than one way to give hatred the finger.

TheOnion #twitvote 9:39 a.m. Dr. Monopoly Pumpernickel was denied a vote after he was shown to be nothing more than 3 small children in a an overcoat

TheOnion #twitvote 8:53 a.m. Steven Spring of Charlotte voted for Obama because he couldn’t support a candidate whose last name rhymes with “Hussein”

TheOnion Exit Poll 6:23 a.m. George Olmussen of Portland, ME voted for McCain, and he’s tired of everyone asking him why in that tone #votereport

birbigs “Obama said knock you out.”

StupidInstitute anxiously waiting to see if middle america is still as stupid as they were 4 years ago…

zaibatsu Retweeting @JackBastide: Florida asks for Nudist Polling Place …Kinda gives a whole new meaning to the term “hanging chads”

For Funny Tweets Follow www.Twitter.com/RichandDaveShow!

Got something better? Paste your favorite election night tweets below in our comment section!

Hey Baby, nice Tweets! 11-2-08

Some favorite funny tweats from our Twitter feed:

nick I’m not wasting this Dolby 5.1 setup to use headphones for my porn. It’s not like the maid even knows English.

BradmanTV So I used the new Dark Temptaion AXE… it neither smelled like chocolate or turned my appendages into chocolate… I demand a refund…

nick Cooking Poor Pasta. It’s like regular pasta except it’s all you have to eat.

Shameless self shout out RichandDaveShow gets TwitterProps: jackthewhack @richanddaveshow Lovin’ the website! =D

or CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW US ON TWITTER - Just funny fucking tweats!

((NEW!)) SUBSCRIBE TO GET EMAIL UDATES

Hey Baby, nice tweets!

Some favorite funny tweats from our Twitter feed:

fimoculous “abusement” should be a word.

StupidInstitute In doctors office looking at a poster for Travellers Diarrhea. Come to Mexico – you’ll shit yourself. Literally.

RichandDaveShow: whats with foaming hand soap… are people so retarded they cant adequately distribute liquid soap?

giovanni Now that oil is less than $65 a barrel, WHY am I still paying an additional $15 to check a bag?

whipitoutcomedy Do people actually think Amy Winehouse is hot? And if so, why? We’re confused.

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW US ON TWITTER - Just funny fucking tweats!

((NEW!)) SUBSCRIBE TO GET EMAIL UDATES